How can I achieve a similar affect to feeling drunk

Dealing with this little shit(fuck you Staple I hope you read this) and all the alcohol is gone right now I need a drink NOW. I feel like shit. “Uhhh isn’t drinking whenever you’re upset increasing your risk of alcoolism???” I don’t give a fuck nigga I can’t deal with this shit and also half of my family are alcoholics already who gaf I’m just pissing into a puddle of piss already