I drink when I’m alone and bored

Just looking for maybe some camaraderie in this feeing. I have deep depression and anxiety and am going through multiple meds and therapies to help. I have a stable job with support and community. But when I get home and I’m alone, nothing makes me happy. I can’t even start on work (I have to do a lot of work at home after normal work hours) and I just can’t unless I have a drink to relax. I drink about 3-4 drinks that are 8 percent abv, and sometimes I black out. I had a friend over yesterday and barely remember what happened toward the end. I’ve gone to meet friends already drunk to help with the anxiety. I’m not necessarily looking to quit, I just want to feel less alone in this habit. Sorry if this is the wrong sub for this post. I just appreciate that other people here aren’t shaming others for drinking. Thanks for reading.