Looking for a good beginner alcohol

I have some very strange food/drink preferences, and I’m trying to find an alcohol that fits within them but I’ve had no luck so far 🙁 My main criteria are: 1. Weaker flavors. I’ve got an oversensitivity to strong flavors in drinks, to the point that koolaid makes me feel like I’ve been punched in the jaw 2. Lower (but not super low) alcohol content, aiming for the average beer percentage, ± a few percent 3. Less pronounced alcohol taste. My sensitivity to stronger flavors makes it very hard to enjoy alcohol, I’ve had weak schnapps that burns like hellfire on the way down 4. No carbonation. Reasoning similar to #1, but textures instead of flavors 5. Sweeter/fruitier flavors. Anything that has almost a dessert-like taste is right up my alley

I’ve tried schnapps (butterscotch), but it feels like ass to drink. I’ve also tried some vanilla-based liqueur but they’ve all been terrible. I know angry orchard would probably tick all my boxes if it just wasn’t carbonated Cost is a complete non-issue btw, please feel free to suggest anything you can think of