stupid time-sensitive question

ok this sounds very stupid i know but hear me out. i need to get drunk but i have 0 access to any alcoholic drinks but i’ve got have some scrum-diddly-umpcious hand sanitizer! how much would u suppose would get me drunk but not kill me cause i currently don’t really feel like dying! i would prefer for this to be answered by someone without homicidal ideation btw

edit: i drank some and it burns like a BITCH holy shit never do that guys