Need to Stop

All I want to do right now is go out and buy alcohol I can binge drink tonight when my partner goes to bed. I need to go to the shop for normal essentials but I know when I get there I will run out of self control. My partner recently confronted me about my drinking and we threw away what we had in the house. I promised to give it a break. If I lie to him about it and he finds out it will be ten times worse, but I’ll feel pathetic if I tell him I want to drink… What do I do? I’m not sure I can hold back on my impulsivity 🙁