I am in deep

Hi um I have drunken so many toxic things just to get drunk.I am drunk right now in fact on reed diffuser I just want to know if anyone else has had such stupid things to just get drunk how bad is it for you personally. I am underage so I can legally get alcohol so I literally drink products in my house that contains alcohol it is messed up but I physically can’t let go I need the alcohol. Yes this a sort of rant but I don’t have friends I can’t tell my family I can’t be the only one this attached to alcohol is something wrong with me. You can ignore this post I am drunk as shit.