Thinking of starting casually drinking as someone who abstains. Advice?

I (21F) don’t drink because growing up my parent heavily relied on it and I made a promise to myself when I was younger that I wouldn’t cause I can have fun without. I did have one drink once but it was bought for me by a friend who didn’t know and I didn’t wanna be rude, I was 17 and a little giddy at most but during the drink felt very anxious and like I let myself down so it really reinforced the idea that its the right choice for me not to.

That was then when I lived at home in a small town, with that parent actively drinking. That parent has now just started AA, I’m also 21 and proved to myself I don’t need alcohol to have fun if anything I generally have more fun than most and I’m in control. But I’d be lying to myself if the last few months the idea that I’m missing out on an experience isn’t really overshadowing me. And I’m really curious. I just want to see what I’m like if I have a lil buzz.

I think a big part of my hesitation is that because I’m so like that parent I will be like them while drunk and I really don’t want that. On top of that I’m a very private eperson and terrified I’ll start spilling things I can’t say or dont want to say yet. But also I would be breaking that promise to my younger self but don’t I owe it to my current self to let myself try and go out of my comfort zone and see if it’s for me?

I have an idea to have like a baby guiness on friday at the pub with friends but make it very clear this is something thats a big deal for me so not to pressure or shame me if I back out. That choice because its easy, quick and I fear if it’s something to sip my anxiety will make me back out. I’m not planning on getting drunk, just trying something out for me and seeing if it suits and it very well may not. And I’m doing it around them cause I want to be safe I’ve no idea what my tolerance will be and this is very thought out but also don’t want them to make a big deal as I don’t wanna feel pressured. The plan is to arrive at the pub having had food, give myself 10-20 minutes to be sure and if I’m not by then it’s not the night. If I am just do the one shot. I’ve already spoken to my close friend that knows this is a big deal for me and is honestly holding me more accountable for it just being one drink than I am. She’s a good friend and understands why I’m hesitant and why I promised myself this.

Is this a bad idea? Anyone who has experienced something similar of hesitation to drink because of a family member having issues, I’d really appreciate advise. Maybe I’m overthinking it but please be empathetic