I keep dreaming that I’m choking on food and keep waking up choking because of it

It’s alcohol induced and I think my stomach lining is now wearing out I wake up at various hours of the night and morning choking over dreams about me eating food. This has been going on for a while the dream starts out as beautiful something I want my beloved family members are there living a better life than what is reality right now the I get the food in my dreams choke on it and wake up violently coughing once I try to eat the food in the dream. This keeps happening over and over again. Then I feel sick for 2-3 days can’t eat nothing. My stomach burns and I get really bad diarrhea. Me and my sister don’t get along but she’s always in these dreams and in these dreams we bond and get along in them but in real life this is painful and the opposite. If you tell me this is fatality based and I’m about to die and need to forgive her I’m gonna be sad and upset about it but yeah body is starting to deteriorate and I want to not care but then I kinda do. As you can tell by my attitude I don’t want to care but at my core I do. You can tell that I hate life but too much of a coward to decide to check out.