Review: Modern Alchemist THC+CBD Canned Cocktails

Here’s one way to get people more interested in canned mocktails: Put some THC and CBD in them.

Modern Alchemist infuses its three classic cocktails with hemp-derived goodies in lieu of alcohol — and they’re even low in sugar. All cans contain less than 100 calories and, officially, contain 5 servings. They also have 5mg of both hemp-derived THC and CBD to help you relax into the evening.

We got all three (while they’re still legal in Texas, anyway). Let’s taste.

Modern Alchemist Jungle Bird

I’ll almost always order a Jungle Bird when I see it on a cocktail menu, so this rum-pineapple-Campari-inspired offering was my natural first choice. It approximates the Jungle Bird experience fairly closely, offering a tropical fruit punch note at the start, chased by a bold and growing bitterness that pairs well with the sweeter fruit later in the game. Coconut notes on the finish are perhaps a little unusual but not out of place. Any hint of terpenes is fleeting. Quite crushable. A-

Modern Alchemist Citrus Spritz

A sort-of analogue to an Aperol Spritz, this concoction is an easy exploration of lime and grapefruit, landing somewhere in the vicinity of a glass of Squirt soda. There’s no bitter or sour punch to imply alcohol (faux or otherwise) here, nor is there any terpene character evident. In fact, it’s the most mild-mannered beverage of the bunch and, indeed, a “citrus spritz” in every sense of the phrase — easy-breezy and devoid of anything that might complicate things for your taste buds. B

Modern Alchemist Margarita

The intense, nasal flavor of powdered lime dominates this otherwise thin concoction, showcasing a gritty backbone that hints heavily at hempy terpenes. If it didn’t say “margarita” on the can I would have assumed this was some kind of lime-flavored seltzer. I’ll leave it at that. C-

each $24 per four-pack of 12 oz cans

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