PSA: Don’t drink rubbing alcohol

I mean, duh, yes? Well as an alcoholic, I haven’t been able to drink alcohol since April 2nd, so this past Sunday I had this idea to drink 91% isopropyl alcohol since what household doesn’t carry them? Mixed it with some water and gulped it. After two more gulps, I felt drunk and giddy as hell and then, blank. One second I was giggling in my room – next second barely awake in the hospital only for everything to go black again – then I’m lying in my own bed. I was basically in the hospital for an entire day (Sunday night until Monday night). And I don’t remember any of it. Before, during, and after.

Long story short, and I don’t remember this, but after drinking the rubbing alcohol, I walked out of my room and into the kitchen. According to my parents, I was laughing and waving and my dad didn’t know what I took, but tried to calm me down. Apparently I started to go crazy like a daredevil and banged my head at the wall and then hit my head at my desk. Falling all over the place. My dad had to hold me, looking at me like wtf are you on?? I vomited 3 times and then went unconscious and my parents had to call for an ambulance to take me to the ER. Got a minor head injury from the fall (lacerations in forehead).

I felt like crap the day after discharge as well, but today I went back to the hospital to medical records to get the, well, medical records. I have no memory of my stay there and I want more information of what was said by the providers, CT scan results, etc. Since my hospitalization was due to “behavioral health” (because, yay, addiction) the receptionist said her supervisor needs to read my records to make sure it’s safe for me to read it so I don’t harm myself after reading it. What??? I’m sure they ruled out suicide attempt since I have a history of fucking myself over in the name of alcohol but c’mon. I’m an alcoholic who hadn’t had a drink in almost 2 months and was desperate enough to drink poison because it contained alcohol. It’s just weird, I mean they need to make sure it’s safe for me to read?? I drank rubbing alcohol and almost died maybe. I can’t do it again, even if I wanted to, because my parents got rid of everything in this house containing any kind of alcohol except for the small amount of NyQuil left (my mom is getting over a bad cold, she’s not willing to part ways with it).

Crazy experience, and I assure you I don’t act that way with regular, drinkable ethanol. I never digested hand sanitizer but eying the 70% ethyl alcohol hand sanitizer at the receptionist desk in medical records made me rethink my priorities in life. My mom saw me eying it like a hawk and glared at me like BISH YOU BETTER NOT. Yeah, my name is 100% proof handle of vodka and I’m an alcoholic.

Moral of the story: drink alcohol that won’t almost kill you and land you in the ER. If you got to buy it in the health aid aisle of any store, don’t even. Yes you’ll get drunk, but you’ll get fucked up drunk and not in the good kind.