Secret alcohol treatment drug?

So I want to stop boozing for my health and productivity. I’m not alcohol dependent at all in that I can easily go a week between drinks, never drink two days in row, never drink at weekends so I don’t waste family time or let the kids down and I never drink on holiday or any other time when I want to make the best of my time. Sounds like there’s no issue? Except there is. About once a week on average, I go very, very hard. Usually triggered by stress I have a glass of wine about 5pm, by midnight I can easily have done 20 units (drunk whole bottle of vodka before) , sometimes not getting to bed until 3am. I wont eat, I chainsmoke and I look and feel like a sack of shit for at least a day. I’m a well behaved drunk, never make a nuisance of myself, never injure myself, never upset anyone I doubt anyone has any idea I do it tbh. I drink alone, I dont have friends or socialise, I’ve always been an introvert, I’m a proffessional in an industry I hate, so I often drink to switch off and forget about life, enjoy music etc. I’ve tried just not drinking, but I always give in, been trying to avoid these benders all my adult life. Ive been doing this since I was a teenager and im in my 40s. I have to take pain relief daily to manage a lifelong condition which means I cant use the standard alcohol abstinence drugs. I dont want my kids to know or my siblings so it needs to be something completely discrete. Any suggestions?