Am I doing this wrong

M23. About to finish master’s program. When I first drank in hs and earlier in college, alcohol was liquid courage for me, and it made me 10x as social as I would’ve been otherwise. Now, when I get drunk, I remain completely coherent but lose motor skills. It’s not that different from how Shane Gillis describes drinking on addy; I feel basically completely there mentally, I just struggle to form sentences and I may stumble a bit when I walk.

Not being able to form sentences or talk gives me anxiety and it just makes drinking unenjoyable. It’s possible of course that this is just anxiety manifesting when I’m drunk and not drinking cause the anxiety, I just have no clue when it all started. It’s honestly making me consider going sober, or at least Cali sober.

Thoughts?