How do you actually pick up the notes in spirits?

My entire life, I’ve never been able to pick up the flavor notes in liquor. I’ll do the research for a nice mid to high price bottle. I’ll read the reviews and notes from various websites. Then when I take it home, it tastes like any other hard liquor I’ve had in the past. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten my hopes up with reviews that site notes of apricot, coffee and cherry only to taste angry wood varnish.

Don’t get me wrong, I can tell the difference between good spirits and bad spirits. I can also tell smoothness. But that’s it. None of these wild bouquets of flavors that people claim.

Am I missing something? Is there a technique or something. I’ve tried letting things aerates and using the fancy glasses. But it does nothing. When I was young I assumed I just needed for my palate to mature and numb so I could appreciate the subtler aspects of spirits. But I’m pushing 30 and everything just tastes like a variation of ethanol.

Personally, I’ve always been a cocktail person. I just bought the smugglers Cove book and plan to really explore how to make a wellcrafted tiki drink this summer.