Tilapia Colada Cocktail or Aged Tilapia Colada?

Hello, fellow connoisseurs of strange and adventurous cocktails and aged spirits.

I’ve come up with what I like to call the Tilapia Colada, as well as the aged Tilapia Colada. Let me take you through the details of this avant-garde drink and then ask for your opinions.

The Tilapia Colada is a daring fusion of flavors that defies convention and promises a truly unique drinking experience. It all begins with the fish—the tilapia—blended and left to ferment in rice water for several days. This fermentation process imbues the drink with a pungent, almost rancid depth, resulting in a thick, cloudy base with a strong briny aroma. The liquid is carefully strained, capturing all the savory, umami essence from the fish, setting the stage for complex and bold flavors to come. To balance its intensity, pineapple juice adds a tangy acidity, while coconut milk lends a creamy texture. Buttermilk curdles naturally, creating a rich, layered consistency. A splash of fish sauce intensifies the maritime profile, while Malibu Rum contributes an unexpected hint of sweetness. Served over crushed ice with a pickled herring garnish, the Tilapia Colada is a strikingly opaque, milky-white drink with visible strands of fermented fish solids suspended throughout.

Now we could stop here and the drink would stand on its own merit, but we’re not done yet. This drink has more potential. Imagine aging the Tilapia Colada in a wooden barrel for ten years, as one might with fine wine or aged whiskey. The fermentation process would continue, the tilapia and other ingredients slowly breaking down, becoming more pungent with every passing year. The barrel itself would infuse the concoction with deep, woody flavors—oak, vanilla, and subtle tannins—that clash violently with the already dominant fish essence. The aging process might mellow out some of the sharper edges, but it would do little to tame the overpowering brininess. Instead, the drink would mature into something even more intense, its fermentation further evolving into a complex sourness. The once-creaminess of the coconut milk and buttermilk would separate and curdle even further, leaving an oily residue that’s impossible to ignore. Over time, the drink would take on an otherworldly complexity, not unlike a rancid barrel-aged fish sauce, with hints of musty wood and sour decay.

Warning: Consume at Your Own Risk

Fermenting raw fish may pose a risk of harmful bacteria. Use only fresh tilapia, keep the mixture refrigerated (below 40°F/4°C), and discard if it develops an unusual smell, discoloration, or mold. I do not advise that you try making this and I cannot be held responsible for any outcomes from following this recipe.

So, I’m asking for your expert advice on this aging process, because although I can speculate on what aging would do to the flavor profile, I don’t know for sure. What should I expect? Would the drink even be drinkable after a decade in a barrel? I’d love to hear your thoughts, recommendations, and any ideas you might have for improving this concept. Could the Tilapia Colada age into something truly remarkable, or is this a step too far? Let’s hear your feedback!