Am I a alcoholic

My mum died last years and I’m struggling with alcohol I have 4 kopeeebeees in the morning and I have 20 through out the day

I have 2 bottles off whisky a week mix3 it with coke and the bottles is done in 30 minutes

I feel more social when I drink but it numbs bad memorise our

I taken xanas with it’s aswell

I only have grandparents left but they cut me our because or pills

Sorry for bad spelling