Why do I feel like my real self when drunk?

I have so much motivation. So much empathy. I love the feeling, but at the cost of my livers (do i really need the fuckin thing?)?

I want to exercise. I feel hope. I feel motivation. I feel love. I feel joy. I feel sorrow. I drink the 153 proof and it makes me FEEL. I feel almost human.

How do I get this feeling in a more permanent setting? (please dont say therapy)