Drunk n done

Ive just turned 18 couple days ago im a spoiled kid now i have a house in my name and a 20,000 car didn’t work for any of it have rich grandmother, only money I’ve ever made was selling weed when i was 15-16(I didn’t smoke weed myself) made about 18,000 in a year im depressed ive been drinking for over a year heavily now i loved a woman a lot its been at least half a year i miss her, i had a drinking problem that ruined it and ever since she left it’s gotten worse i have no worries at this moment financially and i feel empty i dont have a job and i really hate myself, I started smoking meth recently because im a fat guy and dont want to eat and i dont want to drink when im on it either i dont think im gonna stick on meth but im completely lost in life and dont know what to do i think i might have mental problems or am just a bad drunk im smart and dont want to kill myself with this life i love life even though i hate myself everyday anyway love you guys just any kind of info or thoughts on what i should do could help im very lonely