I’m giving up my sobriety journey

F*ck it. I stopped drinking nearly two months ago in hopes to slim down for some upcoming trips.

While I haven’t gained weight, I haven’t lost any either.

Here is what I’m doing differently:

I’m getting at least 10,000 steps a day (I work from home so I try to take walks or go to the gym and walk on the treadmill)

I’m trying to stay in a calorie deficit by limiting what I eat, cutting back on carbs and sugar

I lift weights maybe 2-3 times a week. I’m not hardcore, but I do use those arm/shoulder/ back machines at the gym.

I drink tons of water. I have always drank a lot of water though.

Here are the benefits I was under the impression that NOT drinking would have, that unfortunately I am NOT experiencing:

Somewhat of a less puffy face. Not true. My face is still hella puffy. When I used to drink, I’d wake up in the morning with dark swollen eyes, and my cheeks and chin would be soooooo bloated looking. Two months of not drinking, I still look like that in the mornings. I’ve been Gua Sha’ing my face since January and no difference. I have to come to terms that this is just how my face looks. I’m getting older and will never have the slim face I used to have.

my face is breaking out!! When I drank alcohol, my skin was clear, smooth as a baby’s

my sleep is still shit, hasn’t improved

Honestly, weekends are the damn hardest. I crave having just one drink and I won’t have it. I’m damn miserable. I’ve tried to keep my mind occupied and it’s FINE but at this point, I just don’t see a point of giving it up.

Long weekend is coming up, and I’m going to break my sobriety. I’m not going to go overboard. I’ll continue to go to the gym, do my steps. But why limit myself on drinking right?