alcohol and inner monologue/self esteem

i have a constant self-psychoanalysis narration going on in my head, you’d think alcohol would make it stop, but it’s as if my mind stays sober (to an extent). i’m an introvert so when alcohol increases my confidence and lowers my social inhibitions, the inner monologue turns into low self-esteem. spoke to some strangers last night and while doing so i was thinking they thought i was ugly, weird, and annoying lol.

not sure if alcohol highlights, exacerbates, or creates my low self esteem. i do think/know i’m awkward and standoffish when sober, but i don’t really care, spoke to a couple of strangers once just for the adrenaline rush and didn’t think i was annoying them, i don’t even think i’m ugly, but i do wish i was better looking, and if a guy speaks to me i think it’s because he thinks i look average so higher chance i’d give him my number.

to conclude, alcohol increases my confidence, but lowers my self esteem, just thought it was an interesting observation