What’s the closest beverage to alcoholic beverages that aren’t alcoholic beverages/non-alcoholic beer in terms of taste?

SERIOUS:

This is a serious question. I’m under 21 so i can’t drink alcohol. Even if i was over 21, i still can’t drink alcohol because it’s a carcinogen and nothing can make my dancing better. However, i hate life rn so I want to drink something that’s bitter and i can “take a swig out of” like a beer. I’m aware that non-alcoholic beer exists, but i live in Indiana where they still ID you for buying non-alcoholic beer(plus, it contains alcohol as well, so im still scared)

TL;DR What’s the closest beverage to alcoholic beverages that aren’t alcoholic beverages/non-alcoholic beer in terms of taste?