Do I have an alcohol issue?

I (30f) think i already know the answer but I guess i wanted to know if anyone had any advice or tips.

I don’t drink every day or every occasion. If others drink, I can not drink if I don’t want to. The main problem is binge drinking. I have to be very conscious about my limit or I go way over.

I’m not sure if I should give up entirely or just not drink if I know it’s a big event for example, party or whatever. I have cut down before. When I get to a point where I feel confident in my alcohol consumption, I relax and have a night of causing chaos (last night I overstared information that was not mine to share) and I often repeat myself because I can’t remember what I literally said. One night my boyfriend said no when I was kissing him because I was too drunk and about 20 mins later I started kissing him again. That one I am very ashamed of. I end up repressing those moments so I can live with myself.

My main concern is my relationship. Last night put him in a terrible position. He has spoken to me about my binge drinking before. I don’t want to lose him, we are getting engaged.

Can anyone recommend on how best to do this? Should I be teetotal? Probably. This doesn’t happen every time I drink but it happens often enough (once a month?) that I know I need to sort it out. I don’t like who I am when I get that drunk but I enjoy wine with a dinner or friends. Maybe it’s the club environment.

Thanks