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22M Afraid of getting drunk – How to approach my first time?

I’m not sure why but I’ve always been scared of getting drunk and losing ‘control’ of what I do/say. I’ve heard of different stories like drunk dialling, people saying stuff they regretted, people stripping off, etc. I know people react differently, some aggressive, some calm, some fun, etc. I just don’t know how i’ll react to alcohol, fear of the unknown kind of thing. From 18-21 I was a reserved, closeted, obese guy and so I was pretty insecure physically and mentally. I guess I was always paranoid of doing/saying something weird like you see in those anaesthesia videos. I didn’t want to wake up the next morning and find out that I had come out the closet or said/done something I wouldn’t usually do. I have drank alcohol many times but not more than one (beer, cocktail, glass of wine/champagne etc.) a day. I’m no longer obese, still reserved and closeted though. I really want to experience being drunk and socialise with friends/family at bars/clubs. I no longer want to be the only sober person as I’m usually really awkward and not having as much fun.

I’m thinking of getting drunk alone tomorrow to see what i’m like. I have a few naïve, stupid questions though. I really don’t know what it’s like being drunk and whether people just over exaggerate the experience. Will a couple craft beers be fine for the first time? Once drunk, is it easy to just stop and put down the drink? I’m worried that I may just start calling or texting friends/family, should I put my phone somewhere I can’t reach lol? How do I know when i’ve reached my limit (I don’t want to get blacked out drunk)? Will I have any recollection of what I did while drunk? If after getting drunk alone I think “wow this was fun, nothing to worry about” will I react differently the next time when i’m engaging in conversation/being asked questions? I already have an issue with oversharing, i’m worried that being in a drunk state will make it worse.

submitted by /u/BiggieGouda
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