I ended up doing crack.

Ive been an alcoholic since I was 18, now 22. I finished a 30 day treatment in feb & I was put on venlafaxine 150 & sober for 6 months. I relapsed in sept after being 6 months clean. I started drinking again & was a closet drinker. Then came December 1st I was drunk one night & messaged one of my cousins(f37) who I only met once at a family dinner. I asked if she wanted to hang out n drink, She said yes. So I slept that night to get sober to drive next day then I picked her up, then alla sudden she pulled out a crack pipe in my car n started taking a hit. I was shocked cuz I’ve never been around that stuff. Anyways we ended up getting a hotel and a bottle. I was drinking with her n she got more crack and was doing it in our sketchy hotel room & drinking with me. I got pretty drunk n was bold enough to ask for a hit. She was kinda hesitant but still let me have some & I remember taking a hit and her telling me to hold it in, then exhale & I felt this tingly sensation on my body. But in my head I was telling myself ( I don’t feel anything like in my head) Anyways that night I took about 4 hits from her crack pipe. This was 3 weeks ago since. I sometimes wanna message her when I’m super drunk to go get high. When I’m drunk but not blacked out I wanna get more fucked up. I’m scared cuz I don’t wanna end up being a crack head.