Let myself down when drunk, struggling to forgive myself

I went out for a work do and got super drunk, so bad I blacked out and fell asleep at the party after being sick in the toilets. My husband picked me up and took me home. To be honest I’m not that embarrassed I got that drunk as it is what it is, but the thing I feel awful about is that I shared some really gossipy, secret bit of information I knew about my manager with my colleagues that could really blow up for her if it got out. I feel so cruel for repeating it as I never would sober. For some reason I thought it would be funny to share at the time, I guess for shock factor or attention I don’t know. The 2 people I told have promised not to repeat it but I feel so ashamed and nasty that I said it in the first place. She didn’t deserve that from me and I have no beef with her. I learned that night, that I have a really ugly side from doing that and I don’t feel like I can blame the alcohol, I did that, it was my words. I am leaving the company this week (not because of this, I was already leaving for a new job) but I feel like I’m going in to the holiday period/ new year really annoyed and ashamed with myself. I don’t like myself for doing that and gossiping in such an ugly way, about something so personal for someone else. It had nothing to do with me and wasn’t my place to say.

How do you forgive yourself for being a total jerk? Will I ever stop feeling anxious about it getting out?

I have learnt from this that 1- I never want to partake in gossip again, I find it ugly and it’s not who I want to be 2- I need to not get stupidly drunk at work events ever again and 3- I can be a total asshole and I want to make sure I never see that side of me again.