Alcohol

Hello. Seeking advice on my relationship with alcohol. I have panic disorder and social anxiety. I ruminate and am a chronic over thinker. Drinking takes the edge off. I am especially fond of white wine, if not exclusively.

My current life is pretty good, I have a steady job that pays well, a husband and a stepson. Alcohol has never caused problems for us, but I feel guilty about my drinking habits, because I know I am dependent.

Not two minutes after I get home from work, I pour myself a glass. I usually have 5-6 glasses per night and drink about a bottle a day.

I have a tolerance now where it takes about 2-3 bottles to get me drunk. So one bottle a day is manageable for me, but know it must be wreaking havoc on my long term health. Nonetheless, I still manage my life, make dinner, clean the house, take care of my stepson and progress in my career. But I feel like the path I am on with alcohol could get dangerous very fast just because how much I want it everyday and how much drink on a regular basis. I’ve been drinking every single day for about 5 years, with maybe 12 sober/dry days a year.

Just wanted to share my thoughts. Every alcoholic test I take tells me I’m fine but heading down the path of possible alcohol dependency. Even though I am managing to do what’s expected of me in life I still feel guilty about my drinking.

Does anyone have any experience? I want to stop. But I don’t want to hit rock bottom to wake me up – I want to get a hold of this while I’m ahead.