I have a really sad life.

My whole life has been about drugs and alcohol, right now im drinking by myself and listening to music, im doing amphetamine too by myself, idk i feel like im losing my self, i used to be more social, but im at home isolating myself. Completely losing my sanity. i’ve been to rehab, but i don’t know, it’s not working for me, 99% of me wants to stop, but the 1% wants to keep taking drugs and alcohol, and the 1% is so strong.