Anyone else kind of has their alcoholism on pause

M20 I’ve been an alcoholic for over a year day drinking every day at least 2-3 sometimes 4 drinks before work as a pain killer and strength booster or at least placebo myself that it does, because I’m under 21 can’t get liquor so drink of choice was steel reserve tall boys or 40s mainly, 9% ipas and guiness, used to have 2-4 drinks before work and 8 drinks after work, but stopped drinking after an injury, surprisingly didn’t experience any withdrawal at all except just mainly boredom, i still have a few drinks once or twice a month but nowhere near what i used to because lately I’ve been focusing on work saving up money trying to meet someone, dieting and losing alot of weight, and becoming skinny just feels so good right now it’s like a constant high for someone who was chubby growing up, but part of me still just loves and misses having a couple rum and cokes, a couple irish coffees while watching a movie then passing out and i just can’t wait till i stop caring about dieting and being in shape and dating so i can just get fat and bloated as hell go home sit on my recliner with a 12 pack and some tacos watch a shitty movie and just shut my brain off completely kind of stupid post but it’s what I’m feeling at the moment anyone else relate?