My dad became an alcoholic when I was 18. I’m 21 now and I don’t recognize him.

I miss my dad. It’s destroying my mom which she herself is the beautiful person inside and out, it kills me. I don’t think anything will fix him. Every time I see him he’s drunk. How do I learn to accept this? I’m an only child and I feel like I have no one to talk to about it with accept for my mom. He used to be my best friend with the most bubbly personality, now he’s this bitter shell of himself. He’s so negative and grumpy. He doesn’t talk much anymore. Every chance he gets super drunk he can’t even walk. I visited him today while my mom was at work. He was drinking a natty beer like usual on his second. It’s better than rum which he used to drink a pint a night, but who knows he hides his liquor. Then he begged me to take him to the gas station to get him another one before my mom got home. I said no. This brought back memories. I’ll find pint bottles everywhere hidden from my mom. I’m not sure what to do, I feel so much anger. He’s not him. I’m not sure who this person is anymore. It’s devastates me. I keep this a secret. I try so hard to talk to him, many fights and tears shed but no change. He always says tomorrow but it never comes. I’m watching my dad drown him self in alcohol and has become a full grown addict. And nobody really knows about it. I moved out but I just feel bad for my poor mom being there 24/7. I’m beginning to hate and resent him. All that I know about my dad that I loved and adored is gone.