I cant drink but I want to drink

As said in the title I want to drink more but it is a rly painful process for me. I used to drink a lot when I was 14-16, I started quite young but I used to get drunk once or twice every week, and everything is perfectly fine and with light hangovers and not extremely feeling sick. But now, after a few years and I’m currently 19 but also when I’m 18 I just find it so hard to drink. I always hated the taste but the taste is getting so unbearable. And everytime I drink even during the time that I am drinking I feel rly bad and nauseous even I only had a drink or two. And obviously the worst is after I get drunk, the head and stomach pain is rly rly bad and always feeling extremely nauseous. This stopped me from drinking when I’m going out with my friends when we r planning to get drunk, and it’s kinda upsetting me and also my friends are upset at me because I am not drunk enough and I also want to get drunk but it is rly painful for me for some reason. And I am kinda sad bcos i think it’s bcos I’m “aging” but I am also just 19, and I am moving away from uni soon and I don’t rly wanna miss out on the scene. How can I get back to just drinking…? I saw advices about having drinks ocassionly without getting drunk but I just can’t bare the taste… like sometimes one whiff literally makes me gag and die.