Can only feel true emotions when drunk?

Idk if this is the right place to post this or if it will get taken down but I’ve been struggling with trying/wanting to get sober for while. Almost 3+ years of drinking daily and my tolerance has gone from feeling “fucked up” off a beer or two to being able to drink a liter of vodka in a 24 hr period and yeah I’m drunk but can still function. I guess I’ve been through some shit especially over the last 10 years as we all have (I’m in my early 30s now) but I am so stoic most of the time and can only “come out of my shell” or feel/express deep emotions when I’m drunk. Not a good feeling. I feel like I’m screwing not only myself out of good situations but also my 8 yo and husband. I know I should probably talk to someone but don’t even know where to start.