I don’t really get out often, it’s hard to tell if I made a fool out of myself in front of the people at work

I’m a hospital janitor and there was a goodbye party at a bar for one of the nurses. There was a flyer in the break room, I walked up to one (not the one leaving) and asked if it would be weird if I went, she said of course not. There was maybe 10 total people from work? My friend was my ride there and he said he’d just chill there too and meet some people from work. Honestly he was trying a little too hard, “Man we’ve been like best friends since forever” telling stupid stories of shit we did as kids. It’s hard to tell if they were even paying attention but honestly I hope they weren’t.

I had 5 drinks, two of them I chugged back to back. I’m not really sure where the line is between buzzed and drunk but I was fucking tightrope walking that shit. Occasionally he’d comment on it. At first, I was extremely tense and wound up he’d be nonstop trying to reassure me it’s all good, but then after number 5 I was talking all the time. We were sitting at a table with most of the people from work but for about 65% of the time we were just having our own conversation.

But, he said I’m drunk, and I turned to one of the nurses, “Yeah I wouldn’t be nearly this talkative sober” and realized I shouldn’t have said that. It didn’t garner a reaction from anyone, they just resumed their conversation.

But, when we were leaving, I said a goodbye to the nurse the party was for, turned around to walk away and tripped a little. I can’t tell if it was because I was drunk or just shifted my body weight too fast the same way anyone would do sober, but I turned back and pointed at them and just said I’m good like a cartoon character.

I don’t know, most of the night just keeps replaying in my head and I can’t help but feel like, next time they see me at work tomorrow, it’ll be in a new light. I suppose I could just say “You’ll have to forgive me if I was too drunk, I knew I was gonna need a few to loosen up”